Month: July 2016

Forbidden

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Christianity brings sanity

Religion itself gives us control

Things we ought to say and do

Things we cannot say or do

They are forbidden

There are laws that have been laid down

Only to guide us

But can they really guide us?

For no matter how much guidance we get

We have been made to be free

For even Adam and Eve walked the earth in nudity

Free just like animals

And they are our parent’s parents

Truth is

We have unlimited freedom

That exists in our minds

That neither religion nor common law can restrict

It’s left to us now

To build its boundaries for ourselves

And that’s where religion comes in

To aid us in knowing our limits

But these limits are implicit

And can be superceded by the depth of our thinking

And we can tap into the forbidden

Even though it’s forbidden

Making it our own secret

The things we do that are forbidden

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Hacking At My Heart

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Emotional by Nina Fabunmi, 4x3ft, Acrylic on Canvas, 2011

 

I have loved and I have lost

And I am still loving

And I will continue to love

They have come and they have gone

And they are still there

And they will continue to be there

Each one of them that I have loved and I have lost

Has hacked away at my heart

Hacked a piece of my heart away

A piece has turned into pieces

And they have hacked them away

Those whom I am still loving are hacking away at it

And are still hacking

And will continue to hack

And those who are waiting to love me still

Are holding their swords, their matchets and their hoes

Waiting to hack away at my heart

My heart is fragile but it beats still

Pumping twice the amount it was before it was hacked at

It struggles to beat but it beats still

Struggling to breathe

But it breathes still

And struggling to sustain the life in me

But I am still alive

With many more years to stay alive

And though they have hacked away at my heart

They have moulded it with beautiful curves

Defined each twist and turn on it

Moulded the bends into beautiful bends

And defined the curvature of it

And it is a beautiful heart

Beating, pumping and breathing still

Loving and giving and loving again

Loving even those to whom love has been lost to

Loving those whom still love

And waiting to love those waiting to love

Waiting to hack away at my heart

Hacking at my heart

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Care Mistreat

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Where peace of mind is hard to find

And you hope that the world will be kind

When care turns to fear and you quiver at the very thought of him

You look in his eyes and all you see is lies

The lies buzz like flies on a huge pile of shit

Offended by the filth!

The stench is lethal you have to flee

When your heart becomes like a tennis ball

Bouncing from racket to racket

Till its smacked down hard on the ground

The victorious cheer at your expense

When you close your eyes in sleep

Tormented thoughts

They turn into nightmares

And still you have to summon courage to face another day

Care like wear and tear

Exhausted you combust

Like a grenade about to explode

With all the load you’ve had to bear

Finally, you have to abort

Less it kills what’s left of you

Your care turns to a glare as you look back at your life

Flush strife down the toilet drain

Thrive on the gain of pain

Sowing in new soils

Praying for rain

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

 

 

 

Chemistry

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Tree Of Passion by Nina Fabunmi, Acrylic on Canvas 4x2 inches in 3 panels. 2011, SOLD

When fuel met flame, a fire emerged

Whipped cream on hot chocolate

Emotions that lack commotion

Hearts beating like drums being pounded by drum sticks

Breaths cut short like an asthma attack

Attraction with no distraction

The reaction of blind passion

He undressed me with his eyeballs

Like a body under an x-ray machine

Vulnerable and at his mercy

Mutual trust that will never rust

Transfixed by his gaze upon me

Just as the moon descends on a lonely forest

And gives her sweet rest

I was lost in awe

Care mystery

Opulent stimulant

The click that turns on the light switch

When he touched me

I felt shock waves flowing through me

Like I had been bitten by an electric eel

I moved in ways I never imagined

Key in ignition

A connection that needed no correction

The speech of the unspoken

The treasure of pleasure

It was right without a fright

Like light in the night

A spark in the dark

A dog with a bark

Vehicle roaring like a raging lion

In anticipation of acceleration

We became one and begun our journey

To the never ending land of chemistry

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Surge Of Sadness

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So swiftly so suddenly, I feel a surge of sadness

But yet it seemed, a moment ago, that all I had was happiness

My mind has began to wonder again

That which I ended I want to begin

And that which I began, I want to end

For it seems as though, I am coming to my end

I am weary of wallowing in my own confusion

I am sorry for those who once had my submission

For it seems I am as a pendulum rocks

Back and forth and breaking the rocks

That which once held me steadfast in love

I mend and I break and I mend and I break

Shattering the hearts of those I once loved

Loving again until I break

And breaking again yet wanting for their love

And when I have it, I break again

I break again only to begin again

Hearts are shattered and I am battered

Then again comes the surge

The fruit of all that I urge

The surge that makes me begin to purge

Wallowing in my self inflicted unhappiness

In a surge of sadness

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Only For The Living

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The problem is not with the apple

But with those who fail to savor its taste

The apple remains juicy, red and succulent

But only for those who have taste buds

Words did not fall like apples from a tree

They erupted like the wroth of a volcano

Only consuming that which is in its path

Soon it will turn from magma to smoke

Eventually the smoke will disappear

And the volcano will remain dormant

New life will spring forth

But only those who have eyes will see

As for the apple

Only the living shall taste of it

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Dancing With the Devil

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I painted a picture of you

The way I wanted to see you

And fell in love with the idea of you

I was dancing in the sun

But when I looked beneath me, I was sinking in quick sand

Soon the full moon came and met me

Only then did I see the horns on your head

All this time

I had been dancing with the devil

The more I struggled

The quicker I sank

Until could breathe no more

Choking…. suffocating……. anguish and death befell me

Until the great tsunami came and saved me

It tore down tree, houses and everything in its path just to get to me

I moved with its ferocious motion

And went where it took me

Now here I am again

Dancing with another devil

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

You Died

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Open Invitation by Nina Fabunmi 2009

You died

You don’t exist anymore

I took all the pain and hurt you caused me

And I buried them along with you

I threw flowers into your grave

And wept over your lifeless corpse

And now, I am a widow in mourning

I kept all the happy memories

All our pretty pictures

They are like food to my soul

Just enough to help me get by

If I ever see you again, I will walk on by

And pretend that I just saw a ghost

Because you died

You are no more

Like an image in my head

A happy thought in my heart

And if you call my name again, I will not answer

I will pretend like it’s a whisper from the wind

And I will remember you with joy

Because you are dead

I buried you with your pain and heartache

I wet the soil with the tears I cried for you

I have planted a garden in your name

And I will remember you

Because you died

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Consumed By Fire

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Fire burning me up

With just one touch

He took me places

Like I had a sudden rush of blood flowing through my veins

Waking up places I never thought existed

I begged for mercy

But forgiveness was never served

I was like a patient in need of medicine

Given in bitter sweet portions

Forbidden

The savor of that which is prohibited

One touch

I was hypnotized

I left my body there for him to deal with

And my spirit was transported to a world where feelings are like ice cream on a cone

Apples were falling from the tree of life and I was eating all of them

I was dancing with sharks at the bottom of the deep blue ocean

Moving in ways that seemed like I was boneless

It was like a heat that could not be quenched

It took over me

I screamed louder and louder

But my loud cries seemed to only fire him up the more

I had no words to tell it

Completely consumed fire

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Despicable

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Weeds growing under the high buttresses of dense trees

But they are just weeds

They need to be cut down, plucked out, discarded of

So that the trees can breathe easy

Trash!!!!

Belongs in the garbage can

I picked it up, dusted it out and tried to recycle it

Over and over again

I put fragrances on it to hide its foul smell

But it was too intense to be disguised

Eventually, I had to put it right back in the garbage where it belonged

I thought about making a sacrificial basket to Yemaya

To drown the foolishness deep under the ocean

But I didn’t want the fish to perish

That’s how despicable

Couldn’t turn paper into plastic

Couldn’t scrub the stripes off the Zebra

Optimism hath become a synonym for idiocy

The weeds

I had to cut them down

That I may breathe easy

And like the tall thick trees with high buttresses

That I may grow easy

To the heights that nature hath intended for me

Embracing the sun, moon and sky

Flourishing in the new freedom that is me

Less I become a part of that which I find utterly despicable

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com