You Died

Open Invitation by Nina Fabunmi 2009

You died

You don’t exist anymore

I took all the pain and hurt you caused me

And I buried them along with you

I threw flowers into your grave

And wept over your lifeless corpse

And now, I am a widow in mourning

I kept all the happy memories

All our pretty pictures

They are like food to my soul

Just enough to help me get by

If I ever see you again, I will walk on by

And pretend that I just saw a ghost

Because you died

You are no more

Like an image in my head

A happy thought in my heart

And if you call my name again, I will not answer

I will pretend like it’s a whisper from the wind

And I will remember you with joy

Because you are dead

I buried you with your pain and heartache

I wet the soil with the tears I cried for you

I have planted a garden in your name

And I will remember you

Because you died

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

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Consumed By Fire

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Fire burning me up

With just one touch

He took me places

Like I had a sudden rush of blood flowing through my veins

Waking up places I never thought existed

I begged for mercy

But forgiveness was never served

I was like a patient in need of medicine

Given in bitter sweet portions

Forbidden

The savor of that which is prohibited

One touch

I was hypnotized

I left my body there for him to deal with

And my spirit was transported to a world where feelings are like ice cream on a cone

Apples were falling from the tree of life and I was eating all of them

I was dancing with sharks at the bottom of the deep blue ocean

Moving in ways that seemed like I was boneless

It was like a heat that could not be quenched

It took over me

I screamed louder and louder

But my loud cries seemed to only fire him up the more

I had no words to tell it

Completely consumed fire

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Despicable

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Weeds growing under the high buttresses of dense trees

But they are just weeds

They need to be cut down, plucked out, discarded of

So that the trees can breathe easy

Trash!!!!

Belongs in the garbage can

I picked it up, dusted it out and tried to recycle it

Over and over again

I put fragrances on it to hide its foul smell

But it was too intense to be disguised

Eventually, I had to put it right back in the garbage where it belonged

I thought about making a sacrificial basket to Yemaya

To drown the foolishness deep under the ocean

But I didn’t want the fish to perish

That’s how despicable

Couldn’t turn paper into plastic

Couldn’t scrub the stripes off the Zebra

Optimism hath become a synonym for idiocy

The weeds

I had to cut them down

That I may breathe easy

And like the tall thick trees with high buttresses

That I may grow easy

To the heights that nature hath intended for me

Embracing the sun, moon and sky

Flourishing in the new freedom that is me

Less I become a part of that which I find utterly despicable

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Rose In A Garden

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I was like a rose in a garden and he plucked me

I glowed in his hands

The sun ignited my colors

Even as they bounced back and forth off his skin

For a moment he held me tenderly and he admired me

But only for a moment

Soon he took me apart, petal-by-petal

Until all that was left of me was a skinny green stalk

And my single thorn, which I pricked him with

It stung and his blood dripped

Drop by drop

Adding color once more

To my pretty petals now scattered all over the floor

My every teardrop became like a whiplash on his pelt

My cries gave him migraines

My sadness was his madness

Soon he became insane

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Between Transience & Infinity

 

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I feel like I have been putting leaves on a tree

Only for autumn to come take them all down

They were fresh and green

But when the fall came, they turned to orange and burnt umber

Soon they fell to the ground and my tree was without leaves

Like fetching water with a basket

I thought I was counting milestones

But it’s all gone now

Perished with the changing seasons and here I am

Staring at the naked branches of this tree

Wondering if all my labor was worth it at all

I kept the roses he gave me

Once soft and new

I put them in a pretty vase and watered them daily

But it didn’t matter how much water I gave them

They still shriveled with time

I tried to fight transience with infinity

Now I am stuck in the middle still trying to figure it out

Every step closer just keeps me further

Like the leaves on the tree which are no more

Growing again, just to fall back down again

You are like a ghost that ceases to exist

A nightmare I have woken up from

A dream I thought I had

But I am looking up at the tree now and there are no more leaves

The tree is like a figment of my imagination

Time to seek shade under another canopy

That which stands between transience and infinity

 

© Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Arise ‘O’ One Eyed Snake

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Arise ‘O’ one-eyed snake sleeping in the calabash

My hair is let down

My body bare

And I am playing my flute

An enchanting tune

That you may rise from your slumber

‘O’ one-eyed snake

I have began to swish my hips from side to side

The air is filled with music

And I am calling out to you

That you may arise and dance with me once more

I fear that you may be seriously ill

Decapitated and dead

Cursed to condemnation

Suffering from the poison of another

You lay there weak and feeble

Not even able to raise your head up

Soon the chilly wind befell me

And took my melody away with it

Out in the cold

No one to hold

Finally I fell to the ground

I have surrounded myself with more calabashes

Soon I will be lifted up

And I will play my tune again

That another one-eyed snake may arise from a clay calabash

And dance to the tune that I play

Someone to hold

Gone with the cold

We will dance like we could never stop

Air filled with music

And when the wind comes

We shall sail along with it

‘O’ one-eyed

 

Ⓒ Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Blank Canvas

   
 I stared at you like a blank canvas

Filled with possibilities 

Yet I have not the tools to work with you

Like an artist without a brush

Imagine the frustration of my creativity

In my head I have painted pretty pictures

Here gazing at you, shallow and bare

I have no paint to bring my imaginations into fruition

Finally  I have thrown in the towel

Imprisoned emotions 

Like fire in a paper cup

One day they will consume me
Nina Fabunmi

http://www.ninafabunmi