Surge Of Sadness

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So swiftly so suddenly, I feel a surge of sadness

But yet it seemed, a moment ago, that all I had was happiness

My mind has began to wonder again

That which I ended I want to begin

And that which I began, I want to end

For it seems as though, I am coming to my end

I am weary of wallowing in my own confusion

I am sorry for those who once had my submission

For it seems I am as a pendulum rocks

Back and forth and breaking the rocks

That which once held me steadfast in love

I mend and I break and I mend and I break

Shattering the hearts of those I once loved

Loving again until I break

And breaking again yet wanting for their love

And when I have it, I break again

I break again only to begin again

Hearts are shattered and I am battered

Then again comes the surge

The fruit of all that I urge

The surge that makes me begin to purge

Wallowing in my self inflicted unhappiness

In a surge of sadness

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Arise ‘O’ One Eyed Snake

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Arise ‘O’ one-eyed snake sleeping in the calabash

My hair is let down

My body bare

And I am playing my flute

An enchanting tune

That you may rise from your slumber

‘O’ one-eyed snake

I have began to swish my hips from side to side

The air is filled with music

And I am calling out to you

That you may arise and dance with me once more

I fear that you may be seriously ill

Decapitated and dead

Cursed to condemnation

Suffering from the poison of another

You lay there weak and feeble

Not even able to raise your head up

Soon the chilly wind befell me

And took my melody away with it

Out in the cold

No one to hold

Finally I fell to the ground

I have surrounded myself with more calabashes

Soon I will be lifted up

And I will play my tune again

That another one-eyed snake may arise from a clay calabash

And dance to the tune that I play

Someone to hold

Gone with the cold

We will dance like we could never stop

Air filled with music

And when the wind comes

We shall sail along with it

‘O’ one-eyed

 

Ⓒ Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

My Emergence

Colourful Life by Nina fabunmi, Acrylic on Canvas, 5x2.5 ft, 2011

Sucking on a dry fruit and forgetting the taste of freshness

Then, before me, dangled a juicy red apple

Like the temptation of Adam by Eve

I took a bite and I felt alive again

My land is green

My soil, nourished and rich in manure

Yet you won’t plant in me

Perhaps your tools are defective

Like a farmer without a hoe

Or your seeds are like blank bullets that miss their mark

Your restless insatiable soul

Constantly looking for that which you already possess

But then came the ardent seeker

He scatted his seeds in my terrain

My garden has turned into a rich wild forest

Thick roots and broad green canopies

My waters run from rivers to oceans

Filled with passion, desire and plenty

Endless abundance of depths that go on for forever

I followed a trail that ended in a wall that I could not penetrate

I tried to break it, but it wouldn’t fall

I had to change directions

I hopped unto a cloud

Soft as candy floss

Floating into oblivion

Angels whisper kind words in my ears

My dreams are real

I heal and I feel

The sun came to greet me

And the moon comforted me by night

I have seen stars

It seems so peaceful over here

I think I will stay

This is my emergence

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Trophie

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I made her out of my own hands

Juxtaposed her posture

Choreographed her composition

Her gesture, intentional

Lighting, drapery and skin

I formed her in black and white

And when she was ready I added color

I poured my emotions into her

That she may speak for many others and me

And when she was ready to go

The right man came along

He paid the price

And he took her home

And I felt nothing but contentment

I am the third creator

God hath endowed my hands

Blessed my heart

And garnished my mind

I have applied mimesis

And I have replicated his creation unto canvas

That she may be admired by the eyes that see her

Adored by whom she will be owned

And he shall make her his trophy

 

©Nina Fabunmi

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

I Have Nothing Else To Give

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I gave you an extra leg

That you may find your balance

But it wasn’t enough for you

Till I gave you both my legs

I gave you an extra hand

That you may carry more

But you asked for the only hand I had left

And I gave that to you as well

I gave my eyes that you may see better

I gave my ears that you may hear better

I gave you all my senses

That you may feel the pain I endure for you

But that did not satisfy you

You asked for my organs

And I gave that as well

You have rendered me an empty shell

I have nothing else to give

You decided you needed wings

That you may take to the sky and soar

I have no wings to give you

And now you are chasing birds

You decided you needed fins

To swim amongst the fishes in the ocean

I have no fins to give you

And now you are chasing fish

You are in a deep dark forest

Chasing a monkey for its tail

A bear for its claws

A lion for its roar

A crocodile for its hide

And a beast for its deep dark heart

Your insatiable appetite has rendered me crippled

Now I watch you from a distance

On your un-ending quest for more

With nothing else to give to you

 

Nina Fabunmi

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

It’s Like Madness

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Sadness

It’s like madness

I swallowed a pill called love

It flows through my veins

And has infected me with lethality

Crazy!!! I Feel like I have gone insane

Ashamed with no one to blame but me

How could I let this happen?

It’s like walking without walking

Like one without feet and yet I am moving

Other forces have befallen me

My tongue is wagging but I said not a word

And yet I have said so much

It’s an infinite source of inspiration

I can’t stop the words from flowing

Crying

But I shed not a tear

And yet I can’t hide my heavy eyes

Like an ache without diagnosis

How can I be cured?

I drowned myself in a bottle named love

And now, I am intoxicated

Calamity, its insanity

I have thrown myself to the ground

And banged my head against the wall

In my futile effort to shake it off

How do I rid myself of this torment?

Bruised, broken and battered

It’s like Madness

 

Nina Fabunmi

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Our Perfect World

Waiting For Him

I have kept you in my dreams

Trapped in a world that only exists in my false reality

A place where I can share you with no other

And transient things are not a bother

I spend the nights in your arms

And I awake in your embrace

I have a script for everyday

It all goes according to plan

I have you in my thoughts

When I close my eyes you smile at me

You lift me up and swirl me around

You whisper sweet nothings and make me merry

In a world where all is perfect

Where unicorns fly and homes are like floating clouds

We are like gods and goddesses

Eternal, peaceful and beautiful

My slumber is deep

I dare not wake

Less I be compelled to face my harsh reality

Where my tears flow like waterfalls

And my heart has been battered to a pulp

I spend the days waiting for night to come

So I can fall deep into sleep

To be with you once more

In a place where unicorns fly

Where we float on clouds like gods and goddesses

Our perfect world

 

Nina Fabunmi

http://www.ninafabunmi.com