Half A Life

I tasted the flaccid only to remember how good the hard felt

Flaccid was  like acid , it burnt me , it was never good for me

I remembered sitting on something firm

I was grounded , I was whole

Going back to those hot sweaty nights

Falling asleep to humming mosquitoes

The broken silence of long nights

Yet two souls became one , our never ending story

We hurt each other

We suffer for our own lack of forgiveness

But we have suffered enough

My African Mandingo warrior

Oceans apart

And now, I have learnt to live half a life

Flower in a jungle of unworthy eyes

I blossomed but it was flawed with oblivious intent

I curled up once again, hiding behind the green leaves giving me shelter

I await the day he will swim the Atlantic, soar the skies and ride the black stallion

To reclaim me once more

Till then , I shall live half a life

Knife in my heart

Wife

Studs on my fingers

Life

Crown on my head

The fruits of my womb

Our bond

Returned to us

Our crown

But till then

Half a life

 

Copyright Nina Fabunmi 2017

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Embracing Seasons

Open Invitation by Nina Fabunmi 2009

Wool was warm in the winter but in the spring it melted to a sweaty pulp

And then it melted all off of me

The sun came and I embraced my nudity

But then came the winter again and I yearned for the warm softness of my woolen yarns

I got on a sail boat with a captain to steer the wheels

Many moons hath passed and we are still sailing in circles

With no destination in sight and now I have gone weary

Saved by a tsunami of emotions

Our sail boat hath sank to the bottom of the deep blue yonder

Rescued by my own mindless fantasies , I have become a mermaid

I am swimming free in an ocean filled with sharks

Singing like a siren that I may lure the unlikely

I have swam through muddy waters

To reach the clear blue continental shelves

One day I will have legs again

And I will walk out of these depths

They didn’t drown me but made me stronger

I will walk on new soil

And make new footprints

Branches will bend to give me shade

Flowers will bloom to the glory of my presence

And once more I will be ready to embrace another season

Embracing seasons……

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2017

 

 

 

 

The Foolishness Of Love

When I think about you

I remember the foolishness of love

I build walls and you build bridges

You tear down my walls and you find me

I lock the doors and you come in through the window

I walk away and you run right after me

I can’t live with you and yet I can’t live without you

Like flesh on bones and skin on flesh

We have become inseparable

I have tried to set you free like a bird that needs to fly

But you always fly right back to me

I am writing poetry again because you have given me back my voice

I shut my eyes and still I see you

When I sleep, I dream about you

We kiss, we make – up and then we are at it again

Wallowing in our own foolishness

The foolishness of love

 

Copyright  Nina Fabunmi 2016

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I Forgot You

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I forgot you

He touched me and I forgot you

You became a figment of my imagination

A nightmare in a dream that I had awoken from

A roller coaster ride that had finally come to an end

Ashes of a dead cadaver gone with the wind

Once again I saw your lies

And all my futile cries

And I forgot you

Because he touched me and he made me feel again

I remembered love

I remembered truth

I remembered what it felt like  without deciept

A man who knew what it was to be a man

And I forgot you

He lifted me up and I left you behind

And I forgot you

 

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Forbidden

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Christianity brings sanity

Religion itself gives us control

Things we ought to say and do

Things we cannot say or do

They are forbidden

There are laws that have been laid down

Only to guide us

But can they really guide us?

For no matter how much guidance we get

We have been made to be free

For even Adam and Eve walked the earth in nudity

Free just like animals

And they are our parent’s parents

Truth is

We have unlimited freedom

That exists in our minds

That neither religion nor common law can restrict

It’s left to us now

To build its boundaries for ourselves

And that’s where religion comes in

To aid us in knowing our limits

But these limits are implicit

And can be superceded by the depth of our thinking

And we can tap into the forbidden

Even though it’s forbidden

Making it our own secret

The things we do that are forbidden

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Hacking At My Heart

Emotional by Nina Fabunmi, 4x3ft, Acrylic on Canvas, 2011

 

I have loved and I have lost

And I am still loving

And I will continue to love

They have come and they have gone

And they are still there

And they will continue to be there

Each one of them that I have loved and I have lost

Has hacked away at my heart

Hacked a piece of my heart away

A piece has turned into pieces

And they have hacked them away

Those whom I am still loving are hacking away at it

And are still hacking

And will continue to hack

And those who are waiting to love me still

Are holding their swords, their matchets and their hoes

Waiting to hack away at my heart

My heart is fragile but it beats still

Pumping twice the amount it was before it was hacked at

It struggles to beat but it beats still

Struggling to breathe

But it breathes still

And struggling to sustain the life in me

But I am still alive

With many more years to stay alive

And though they have hacked away at my heart

They have moulded it with beautiful curves

Defined each twist and turn on it

Moulded the bends into beautiful bends

And defined the curvature of it

And it is a beautiful heart

Beating, pumping and breathing still

Loving and giving and loving again

Loving even those to whom love has been lost to

Loving those whom still love

And waiting to love those waiting to love

Waiting to hack away at my heart

Hacking at my heart

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Care Mistreat

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Where peace of mind is hard to find

And you hope that the world will be kind

When care turns to fear and you quiver at the very thought of him

You look in his eyes and all you see is lies

The lies buzz like flies on a huge pile of shit

Offended by the filth!

The stench is lethal you have to flee

When your heart becomes like a tennis ball

Bouncing from racket to racket

Till its smacked down hard on the ground

The victorious cheer at your expense

When you close your eyes in sleep

Tormented thoughts

They turn into nightmares

And still you have to summon courage to face another day

Care like wear and tear

Exhausted you combust

Like a grenade about to explode

With all the load you’ve had to bear

Finally, you have to abort

Less it kills what’s left of you

Your care turns to a glare as you look back at your life

Flush strife down the toilet drain

Thrive on the gain of pain

Sowing in new soils

Praying for rain

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com