love

Surge Of Sadness

ninartz Poetry , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

So swiftly so suddenly, I feel a surge of sadness

But yet it seemed, a moment ago, that all I had was happiness

My mind has began to wonder again

That which I ended I want to begin

And that which I began, I want to end

For it seems as though, I am coming to my end

I am weary of wallowing in my own confusion

I am sorry for those who once had my submission

For it seems I am as a pendulum rocks

Back and forth and breaking the rocks

That which once held me steadfast in love

I mend and I break and I mend and I break

Shattering the hearts of those I once loved

Loving again until I break

And breaking again yet wanting for their love

And when I have it, I break again

I break again only to begin again

Hearts are shattered and I am battered

Then again comes the surge

The fruit of all that I urge

The surge that makes me begin to purge

Wallowing in my self inflicted unhappiness

In a surge of sadness

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Only For The Living

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , ,

sdc15544

The problem is not with the apple

But with those who fail to savor its taste

The apple remains juicy, red and succulent

But only for those who have taste buds

Words did not fall like apples from a tree

They erupted like the wroth of a volcano

Only consuming that which is in its path

Soon it will turn from magma to smoke

Eventually the smoke will disappear

And the volcano will remain dormant

New life will spring forth

But only those who have eyes will see

As for the apple

Only the living shall taste of it

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Dancing With the Devil

ninartz Poetry , , , , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

I painted a picture of you

The way I wanted to see you

And fell in love with the idea of you

I was dancing in the sun

But when I looked beneath me, I was sinking in quick sand

Soon the full moon came and met me

Only then did I see the horns on your head

All this time

I had been dancing with the devil

The more I struggled

The quicker I sank

Until could breathe no more

Choking…. suffocating……. anguish and death befell me

Until the great tsunami came and saved me

It tore down tree, houses and everything in its path just to get to me

I moved with its ferocious motion

And went where it took me

Now here I am again

Dancing with another devil

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

You Died

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Open Invitation by Nina Fabunmi 2009

You died

You don’t exist anymore

I took all the pain and hurt you caused me

And I buried them along with you

I threw flowers into your grave

And wept over your lifeless corpse

And now, I am a widow in mourning

I kept all the happy memories

All our pretty pictures

They are like food to my soul

Just enough to help me get by

If I ever see you again, I will walk on by

And pretend that I just saw a ghost

Because you died

You are no more

Like an image in my head

A happy thought in my heart

And if you call my name again, I will not answer

I will pretend like it’s a whisper from the wind

And I will remember you with joy

Because you are dead

I buried you with your pain and heartache

I wet the soil with the tears I cried for you

I have planted a garden in your name

And I will remember you

Because you died

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Consumed By Fire

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

sdc15333

Fire burning me up

With just one touch

He took me places

Like I had a sudden rush of blood flowing through my veins

Waking up places I never thought existed

I begged for mercy

But forgiveness was never served

I was like a patient in need of medicine

Given in bitter sweet portions

Forbidden

The savor of that which is prohibited

One touch

I was hypnotized

I left my body there for him to deal with

And my spirit was transported to a world where feelings are like ice cream on a cone

Apples were falling from the tree of life and I was eating all of them

I was dancing with sharks at the bottom of the deep blue ocean

Moving in ways that seemed like I was boneless

It was like a heat that could not be quenched

It took over me

I screamed louder and louder

But my loud cries seemed to only fire him up the more

I had no words to tell it

Completely consumed fire

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Rose In A Garden

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

I was like a rose in a garden and he plucked me

I glowed in his hands

The sun ignited my colors

Even as they bounced back and forth off his skin

For a moment he held me tenderly and he admired me

But only for a moment

Soon he took me apart, petal-by-petal

Until all that was left of me was a skinny green stalk

And my single thorn, which I pricked him with

It stung and his blood dripped

Drop by drop

Adding color once more

To my pretty petals now scattered all over the floor

My every teardrop became like a whiplash on his pelt

My cries gave him migraines

My sadness was his madness

Soon he became insane

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Between Transience & Infinity

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

SONY DSC

I feel like I have been putting leaves on a tree

Only for autumn to come take them all down

They were fresh and green

But when the fall came, they turned to orange and burnt umber

Soon they fell to the ground and my tree was without leaves

Like fetching water with a basket

I thought I was counting milestones

But it’s all gone now

Perished with the changing seasons and here I am

Staring at the naked branches of this tree

Wondering if all my labor was worth it at all

I kept the roses he gave me

Once soft and new

I put them in a pretty vase and watered them daily

But it didn’t matter how much water I gave them

They still shriveled with time

I tried to fight transience with infinity

Now I am stuck in the middle still trying to figure it out

Every step closer just keeps me further

Like the leaves on the tree which are no more

Growing again, just to fall back down again

You are like a ghost that ceases to exist

A nightmare I have woken up from

A dream I thought I had

But I am looking up at the tree now and there are no more leaves

The tree is like a figment of my imagination

Time to seek shade under another canopy

That which stands between transience and infinity

 

© Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Arise ‘O’ One Eyed Snake

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

sdc15340

Arise ‘O’ one-eyed snake sleeping in the calabash

My hair is let down

My body bare

And I am playing my flute

An enchanting tune

That you may rise from your slumber

‘O’ one-eyed snake

I have began to swish my hips from side to side

The air is filled with music

And I am calling out to you

That you may arise and dance with me once more

I fear that you may be seriously ill

Decapitated and dead

Cursed to condemnation

Suffering from the poison of another

You lay there weak and feeble

Not even able to raise your head up

Soon the chilly wind befell me

And took my melody away with it

Out in the cold

No one to hold

Finally I fell to the ground

I have surrounded myself with more calabashes

Soon I will be lifted up

And I will play my tune again

That another one-eyed snake may arise from a clay calabash

And dance to the tune that I play

Someone to hold

Gone with the cold

We will dance like we could never stop

Air filled with music

And when the wind comes

We shall sail along with it

‘O’ one-eyed

 

Ⓒ Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

My Emergence

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Colourful Life by Nina fabunmi, Acrylic on Canvas, 5x2.5 ft, 2011

Sucking on a dry fruit and forgetting the taste of freshness

Then, before me, dangled a juicy red apple

Like the temptation of Adam by Eve

I took a bite and I felt alive again

My land is green

My soil, nourished and rich in manure

Yet you won’t plant in me

Perhaps your tools are defective

Like a farmer without a hoe

Or your seeds are like blank bullets that miss their mark

Your restless insatiable soul

Constantly looking for that which you already possess

But then came the ardent seeker

He scatted his seeds in my terrain

My garden has turned into a rich wild forest

Thick roots and broad green canopies

My waters run from rivers to oceans

Filled with passion, desire and plenty

Endless abundance of depths that go on for forever

I followed a trail that ended in a wall that I could not penetrate

I tried to break it, but it wouldn’t fall

I had to change directions

I hopped unto a cloud

Soft as candy floss

Floating into oblivion

Angels whisper kind words in my ears

My dreams are real

I heal and I feel

The sun came to greet me

And the moon comforted me by night

I have seen stars

It seems so peaceful over here

I think I will stay

This is my emergence

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

That Dead Horses May Rise

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Under the Golden Moon , Acrylic on Canvas 38x33 inches by Nina Fabunmi 2011

I planted a mango seed, expecting an apple tree to grow

I walked through dry and arid lands, and there I chose to cultivate

What was thinking, I ask myself

The well was dry yet I cast in my bucket

Still expecting it to be filled

Sitting on a roof top gazing upon the night sky

And waiting for a shooting star to fly by

That I may cast my wishes upon it

Yes!!! I believe in magic

I put water before thee

It’s supposed to quench thirst

But it does nothing to satisfy you

I have made you a meal, that you may hunger no more

But you can’t even smell its aroma

I took a stick and beat this dead horse

Hoping that it would awake

I hit it, over and over again but to no avail

I didn’t stop till my stick was broken

And finally, it broke me

I am broken

My horse is dead

I lay by its side and cried upon its lifeless lump

Looking up into the sky once more

Embellished in shimmering shinny stars

Waiting for that shooting star

That it may take my wishes with it

That your eyes may open and you may stand

Your head crowned with the horn of a unicorn

And you may be adorned with pretty white wings

And take me away with you

To a place where dead horses may rise

But I am just a dreamer

And you are just a dead horse

I am facing the reality in front of me

My wounds that never heal

My tears that are ever flowing

My heart in its tortured state

Believing in magic like a fool

Waiting for a dead horse to rise

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com