My Heart Will Go On and On

“The man with a suitcase” whom I have fallen so deeply in love with. Yesterday he knocked on my door but was welcomed by the echoes that bounced back from my empty nest. He had his suitcase with him and once again he had returned to me, but I was not there. I was lost, lost without him. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I was choking in my own words that stabbed me like daggers piercing through my fragility. I was wandering into oblivion, like a mad man chasing a void, but I was rescued by the wings of love; an emotion that had tortured me continuously yet rescuing me from my self-destructive self. Love lifted me and took me to my doorsteps. I looked on the floor and saw the tracks of his suitcase; I took a breath and smelt his essence. I melted to a pulp, had I lost him again? I followed the tracks of his suitcase and it lead me to the grounds where I had buried my beating heart in a jar, waiting for the right one to make it his treasure.

My heart in a jar was gone. My treasure all dug up. Had he reclaimed it once more? Had he been lost without it? How did he know where to find it?

So I followed the tracks of his suitcase as they lead me away from the grounds where I had buried my beating heart in a jar. The trail lead me straight back to him. I was shaking, eyes teary, head splitting. I rested my head on his chest, he drew me close and I heard the beating of my heart inside of his. In that moment, I felt whole again. He comforted me, stroked me, wiped away my tears, and whispered sweet words to me. We stood under the moonlight like two lovers who had nowhere to go but to each other. Stars twinkled in the deep blue skies like angels up high singing a praise. I am home again; my home is in his heart, in the heart of ‘the man with a suitcase”. My heart will go on and on.

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

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My Heart in the Sand

I fell in love with ‘the man with a suitcase’. Placed my heart in a jar and gave it to him so that he could take it with him where ever he went. Off and on , he came and left like a ‘no where man’. I wondered where he laid his head at night, whose warm body gave him comfort in my absence, on whose couch did he toss and turn?. My heart in a jar, I walked around feeling lost like a mindless zombie. Lost without one who was lost. He was lost to me though I felt lost without him. I tried to function without a heart, my heart in a jar, in his suitcase he took where ever he went. I dreamt of a home, a dog in the yard, the voices of children playing, the cry of a new born baby. My head in the clouds, I was just a dreamer.

But one day….. I awoke. The intensity of the sun tearing through my window blinds almost blinding me as I opened my eyes. I found my heart in a jar by my bedside. It was beating ferociously begging me to take it back. I stared at my jar, I held it in my hands, drew it close to my chest, that I should feel my own heart beat again, even though it wasn’t inside of me. I turned around and the door was open, I saw the tracks of his suitcase on the floor, the air was slightly stained with the smell of his cologne, the front door unlocked, his footprints in the sand, trail fading off with the distance. He had become a memory. I held my beating heart in my hands, I looked up to the morning sun and the chilly wind filtered through my clothes. A new day had come.

I grabbed a shovel and dug a hole in the ground. I buried my beating heart in the sand, that one day it shall be found by the one  who will make it his treasure. My heart in the sand.

Serenade me

The sound of the ocean waves rocking back and forth at the beach, smacking against the rocks they mould with each wave like a rhythmic dance to their own tunes and underneath the red fortress of the Golden Gate Bridge.  I have been serenaded by the music of the sea.

This is my latest tiny piece. I find a lot of peace in painting the beaches that surround me in this beautiful Bay Area which I am so blessed to be in.

http://www.ninafabunmi.com