Surge Of Sadness

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So swiftly so suddenly, I feel a surge of sadness

But yet it seemed, a moment ago, that all I had was happiness

My mind has began to wonder again

That which I ended I want to begin

And that which I began, I want to end

For it seems as though, I am coming to my end

I am weary of wallowing in my own confusion

I am sorry for those who once had my submission

For it seems I am as a pendulum rocks

Back and forth and breaking the rocks

That which once held me steadfast in love

I mend and I break and I mend and I break

Shattering the hearts of those I once loved

Loving again until I break

And breaking again yet wanting for their love

And when I have it, I break again

I break again only to begin again

Hearts are shattered and I am battered

Then again comes the surge

The fruit of all that I urge

The surge that makes me begin to purge

Wallowing in my self inflicted unhappiness

In a surge of sadness

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

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Only For The Living

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The problem is not with the apple

But with those who fail to savor its taste

The apple remains juicy, red and succulent

But only for those who have taste buds

Words did not fall like apples from a tree

They erupted like the wroth of a volcano

Only consuming that which is in its path

Soon it will turn from magma to smoke

Eventually the smoke will disappear

And the volcano will remain dormant

New life will spring forth

But only those who have eyes will see

As for the apple

Only the living shall taste of it

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Dancing With the Devil

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I painted a picture of you

The way I wanted to see you

And fell in love with the idea of you

I was dancing in the sun

But when I looked beneath me, I was sinking in quick sand

Soon the full moon came and met me

Only then did I see the horns on your head

All this time

I had been dancing with the devil

The more I struggled

The quicker I sank

Until could breathe no more

Choking…. suffocating……. anguish and death befell me

Until the great tsunami came and saved me

It tore down tree, houses and everything in its path just to get to me

I moved with its ferocious motion

And went where it took me

Now here I am again

Dancing with another devil

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

You Died

Open Invitation by Nina Fabunmi 2009

You died

You don’t exist anymore

I took all the pain and hurt you caused me

And I buried them along with you

I threw flowers into your grave

And wept over your lifeless corpse

And now, I am a widow in mourning

I kept all the happy memories

All our pretty pictures

They are like food to my soul

Just enough to help me get by

If I ever see you again, I will walk on by

And pretend that I just saw a ghost

Because you died

You are no more

Like an image in my head

A happy thought in my heart

And if you call my name again, I will not answer

I will pretend like it’s a whisper from the wind

And I will remember you with joy

Because you are dead

I buried you with your pain and heartache

I wet the soil with the tears I cried for you

I have planted a garden in your name

And I will remember you

Because you died

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Consumed By Fire

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Fire burning me up

With just one touch

He took me places

Like I had a sudden rush of blood flowing through my veins

Waking up places I never thought existed

I begged for mercy

But forgiveness was never served

I was like a patient in need of medicine

Given in bitter sweet portions

Forbidden

The savor of that which is prohibited

One touch

I was hypnotized

I left my body there for him to deal with

And my spirit was transported to a world where feelings are like ice cream on a cone

Apples were falling from the tree of life and I was eating all of them

I was dancing with sharks at the bottom of the deep blue ocean

Moving in ways that seemed like I was boneless

It was like a heat that could not be quenched

It took over me

I screamed louder and louder

But my loud cries seemed to only fire him up the more

I had no words to tell it

Completely consumed fire

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Despicable

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Weeds growing under the high buttresses of dense trees

But they are just weeds

They need to be cut down, plucked out, discarded of

So that the trees can breathe easy

Trash!!!!

Belongs in the garbage can

I picked it up, dusted it out and tried to recycle it

Over and over again

I put fragrances on it to hide its foul smell

But it was too intense to be disguised

Eventually, I had to put it right back in the garbage where it belonged

I thought about making a sacrificial basket to Yemaya

To drown the foolishness deep under the ocean

But I didn’t want the fish to perish

That’s how despicable

Couldn’t turn paper into plastic

Couldn’t scrub the stripes off the Zebra

Optimism hath become a synonym for idiocy

The weeds

I had to cut them down

That I may breathe easy

And like the tall thick trees with high buttresses

That I may grow easy

To the heights that nature hath intended for me

Embracing the sun, moon and sky

Flourishing in the new freedom that is me

Less I become a part of that which I find utterly despicable

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Rose In A Garden

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I was like a rose in a garden and he plucked me

I glowed in his hands

The sun ignited my colors

Even as they bounced back and forth off his skin

For a moment he held me tenderly and he admired me

But only for a moment

Soon he took me apart, petal-by-petal

Until all that was left of me was a skinny green stalk

And my single thorn, which I pricked him with

It stung and his blood dripped

Drop by drop

Adding color once more

To my pretty petals now scattered all over the floor

My every teardrop became like a whiplash on his pelt

My cries gave him migraines

My sadness was his madness

Soon he became insane

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com