expressive art

You Died

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Open Invitation by Nina Fabunmi 2009

You died

You don’t exist anymore

I took all the pain and hurt you caused me

And I buried them along with you

I threw flowers into your grave

And wept over your lifeless corpse

And now, I am a widow in mourning

I kept all the happy memories

All our pretty pictures

They are like food to my soul

Just enough to help me get by

If I ever see you again, I will walk on by

And pretend that I just saw a ghost

Because you died

You are no more

Like an image in my head

A happy thought in my heart

And if you call my name again, I will not answer

I will pretend like it’s a whisper from the wind

And I will remember you with joy

Because you are dead

I buried you with your pain and heartache

I wet the soil with the tears I cried for you

I have planted a garden in your name

And I will remember you

Because you died

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Consumed By Fire

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

sdc15333

Fire burning me up

With just one touch

He took me places

Like I had a sudden rush of blood flowing through my veins

Waking up places I never thought existed

I begged for mercy

But forgiveness was never served

I was like a patient in need of medicine

Given in bitter sweet portions

Forbidden

The savor of that which is prohibited

One touch

I was hypnotized

I left my body there for him to deal with

And my spirit was transported to a world where feelings are like ice cream on a cone

Apples were falling from the tree of life and I was eating all of them

I was dancing with sharks at the bottom of the deep blue ocean

Moving in ways that seemed like I was boneless

It was like a heat that could not be quenched

It took over me

I screamed louder and louder

But my loud cries seemed to only fire him up the more

I had no words to tell it

Completely consumed fire

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Despicable

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

Weeds growing under the high buttresses of dense trees

But they are just weeds

They need to be cut down, plucked out, discarded of

So that the trees can breathe easy

Trash!!!!

Belongs in the garbage can

I picked it up, dusted it out and tried to recycle it

Over and over again

I put fragrances on it to hide its foul smell

But it was too intense to be disguised

Eventually, I had to put it right back in the garbage where it belonged

I thought about making a sacrificial basket to Yemaya

To drown the foolishness deep under the ocean

But I didn’t want the fish to perish

That’s how despicable

Couldn’t turn paper into plastic

Couldn’t scrub the stripes off the Zebra

Optimism hath become a synonym for idiocy

The weeds

I had to cut them down

That I may breathe easy

And like the tall thick trees with high buttresses

That I may grow easy

To the heights that nature hath intended for me

Embracing the sun, moon and sky

Flourishing in the new freedom that is me

Less I become a part of that which I find utterly despicable

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Rose In A Garden

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

I was like a rose in a garden and he plucked me

I glowed in his hands

The sun ignited my colors

Even as they bounced back and forth off his skin

For a moment he held me tenderly and he admired me

But only for a moment

Soon he took me apart, petal-by-petal

Until all that was left of me was a skinny green stalk

And my single thorn, which I pricked him with

It stung and his blood dripped

Drop by drop

Adding color once more

To my pretty petals now scattered all over the floor

My every teardrop became like a whiplash on his pelt

My cries gave him migraines

My sadness was his madness

Soon he became insane

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Between Transience & Infinity

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

SONY DSC

I feel like I have been putting leaves on a tree

Only for autumn to come take them all down

They were fresh and green

But when the fall came, they turned to orange and burnt umber

Soon they fell to the ground and my tree was without leaves

Like fetching water with a basket

I thought I was counting milestones

But it’s all gone now

Perished with the changing seasons and here I am

Staring at the naked branches of this tree

Wondering if all my labor was worth it at all

I kept the roses he gave me

Once soft and new

I put them in a pretty vase and watered them daily

But it didn’t matter how much water I gave them

They still shriveled with time

I tried to fight transience with infinity

Now I am stuck in the middle still trying to figure it out

Every step closer just keeps me further

Like the leaves on the tree which are no more

Growing again, just to fall back down again

You are like a ghost that ceases to exist

A nightmare I have woken up from

A dream I thought I had

But I am looking up at the tree now and there are no more leaves

The tree is like a figment of my imagination

Time to seek shade under another canopy

That which stands between transience and infinity

 

© Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

 

Arise ‘O’ One Eyed Snake

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

sdc15340

Arise ‘O’ one-eyed snake sleeping in the calabash

My hair is let down

My body bare

And I am playing my flute

An enchanting tune

That you may rise from your slumber

‘O’ one-eyed snake

I have began to swish my hips from side to side

The air is filled with music

And I am calling out to you

That you may arise and dance with me once more

I fear that you may be seriously ill

Decapitated and dead

Cursed to condemnation

Suffering from the poison of another

You lay there weak and feeble

Not even able to raise your head up

Soon the chilly wind befell me

And took my melody away with it

Out in the cold

No one to hold

Finally I fell to the ground

I have surrounded myself with more calabashes

Soon I will be lifted up

And I will play my tune again

That another one-eyed snake may arise from a clay calabash

And dance to the tune that I play

Someone to hold

Gone with the cold

We will dance like we could never stop

Air filled with music

And when the wind comes

We shall sail along with it

‘O’ one-eyed

 

Ⓒ Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

My Emergence

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Colourful Life by Nina fabunmi, Acrylic on Canvas, 5x2.5 ft, 2011

Sucking on a dry fruit and forgetting the taste of freshness

Then, before me, dangled a juicy red apple

Like the temptation of Adam by Eve

I took a bite and I felt alive again

My land is green

My soil, nourished and rich in manure

Yet you won’t plant in me

Perhaps your tools are defective

Like a farmer without a hoe

Or your seeds are like blank bullets that miss their mark

Your restless insatiable soul

Constantly looking for that which you already possess

But then came the ardent seeker

He scatted his seeds in my terrain

My garden has turned into a rich wild forest

Thick roots and broad green canopies

My waters run from rivers to oceans

Filled with passion, desire and plenty

Endless abundance of depths that go on for forever

I followed a trail that ended in a wall that I could not penetrate

I tried to break it, but it wouldn’t fall

I had to change directions

I hopped unto a cloud

Soft as candy floss

Floating into oblivion

Angels whisper kind words in my ears

My dreams are real

I heal and I feel

The sun came to greet me

And the moon comforted me by night

I have seen stars

It seems so peaceful over here

I think I will stay

This is my emergence

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

That Dead Horses May Rise

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Under the Golden Moon , Acrylic on Canvas 38x33 inches by Nina Fabunmi 2011

I planted a mango seed, expecting an apple tree to grow

I walked through dry and arid lands, and there I chose to cultivate

What was thinking, I ask myself

The well was dry yet I cast in my bucket

Still expecting it to be filled

Sitting on a roof top gazing upon the night sky

And waiting for a shooting star to fly by

That I may cast my wishes upon it

Yes!!! I believe in magic

I put water before thee

It’s supposed to quench thirst

But it does nothing to satisfy you

I have made you a meal, that you may hunger no more

But you can’t even smell its aroma

I took a stick and beat this dead horse

Hoping that it would awake

I hit it, over and over again but to no avail

I didn’t stop till my stick was broken

And finally, it broke me

I am broken

My horse is dead

I lay by its side and cried upon its lifeless lump

Looking up into the sky once more

Embellished in shimmering shinny stars

Waiting for that shooting star

That it may take my wishes with it

That your eyes may open and you may stand

Your head crowned with the horn of a unicorn

And you may be adorned with pretty white wings

And take me away with you

To a place where dead horses may rise

But I am just a dreamer

And you are just a dead horse

I am facing the reality in front of me

My wounds that never heal

My tears that are ever flowing

My heart in its tortured state

Believing in magic like a fool

Waiting for a dead horse to rise

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Speechless

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

I carried my basket into a garden filled with texts

Looking for the right words to say to you

I threw in love and laughter

Value, appreciation, loyalty and desire

Alas, my basket was overloaded

It gave way to the weight I had put upon it

Like the broken mirror I had been staring into all these years

Words spilled all over, reminding me of my shattered heart

So where do I begin now, I ponder

I tried to love a bird but all it wanted was to be free

I had to let it go

I pulled my golden fish out of water

Placed it in an aquarium filled with human kindness and all that I could provide

I wanted to wake up to him every day

And fall asleep to his beauty and grace

Watching him swim back and forth, with golden fins and a tail

But he stared at me with sad eyes

Until I released him back into the ocean from whence he came

I wanted him to feel a fire burning each time he saw me

To make love to me like there was no tomorrow

To love me with intensity and a passion that was ever burning

But it seemed like I was trying to get water out of a rock

To resurrect a dead pond in the middle of a dry desert

To wish for snow in a tropical rainforest

I wanted him to take me on a journey that would never end

On a boat that had only room for two

I wanted us to sail off into the sunset

Where we would be enough for each other

I have spoken too many words and now I am speechless

I planted a seed and I wanted to watch it grow

I will water it no more, less I drown it

I have put my message in a bottle

And let it float away

I will sit back and let it go where the current may lead it

Time to sit back and let life happen

For I am emotionally exhausted and lost for words

I have nothing else to say

I am speechless

 

©Nina Fabunmi

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Healing

ninartz Uncategorized , , , , , , , ,

SONY DSC

I am afraid to speak

I have spoken much and now I am exhausted

I opened my mouth and I unleashed a fire

And now it has consumed me

But It had been burning me up for so long, eating me from within

I had to let it out

And now

I am like a spirit, dancing tango between the ghost and the scarecrow

It was too much for me to handle

I had to let it out

Pearl in a shell

Rare and precious

Diamond in a rock

I am a gem

But value eludes the ignorant

They flock to me on their fine horses

But I am weak and weary

This one hath truly outdone me

What else is left of me?

They will dig deep but they will find that my heart beats no more

And they will fall into their own graves while they are at it

I am tired

I speak no more

I will rest now

Fear has become my new companion

 

©Nina Fabunmi 2016

http://www.ninafabunmi.com