Can’t get the rose without the thorn

A horn without a kill

A need without a seed

And a seed needs a feed

It takes what it can’t get

It grows persistently

Because it’s story needed to be told and not to be sold

The sun came out

It blazed and it burnt

It left a mark

And it will never go away

Because it’s beams are everlasting

Even in the deep dark night

It snuck up on the moon

And still shines it’s light

A red rose with a prickly thorn

It’s plucker had to shed blood for it

The blood caused a flood

Like one that had be struck by a sword

It left a mark

That mark will never go away

Because it struck so deep

And even though the wound felt healed

It was never sealed

It will last forever

It will bring pain and pleasure

It will always be a treasure

That beautiful red rose with a thorn

That thorn will never be gone

Because you can’t get a rose without a thorn

(C) Nina Fabunmi 2018

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

I am guilty of loving you

My little peanut

A thumping heart beat inside of me

Little limbs, tiny thoughts

But did you ever get the chance to hear my voice

As I sang to you and told you how much I loved you

One day you were swimming and the next day you were still

And I wonder if the weight I carried was too much for you to bear

Did you hear me cry and cry with me

Did you see through my worries when I felt so alone in this

Did you hear me wonder how I would care for you

And did you decide to spare me the bother

But you were always a blessing my little peanut

And I loved you so much I knew I would find a way

I walked miles under the blazing sun

I had to fend for our household so that I could provide for you

But you left me and almost took me along with you

And you did indeed take a part of me with you

I can’t stop wondering what you would have looked like

With my eyes and your fathers smile

Would we go the saloon together one day and get matching manicures

I will never know

I am guilty of all that you accuse me of

Guilty of feeling guilty for your demise

Scars in my womb

My blood shed for you

Flowing out of me like a bucket full of dye

Blacking out

Drifting between life and death

And yet

My heart aches for you , it always will

Because I am guilty of loving you

(C) Nina Fabunmi 2018

http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Forgive me

If I didn’t smile at you today

Say a kind word to you

Or massage your emotional ego

Forgive me

Just as I have forgiven myself

For not saying a kind word to myself

Or tending to my own emotional needs

I went to bed last night

I shut my eyes in anticipation of a deep and peaceful sleep

But sleep did not come

Instead my eyes grew heavy with tears

They dropped down to my pillow gently

Reminding me of the pain I have had to endure

Alone in my bed with no one beside me but me

I am traumatized by that which once gave me joy

I don’t know if that type of joy will ever return

I don’t know if I will ever need it

I am in search of me once more

My laughter, my smile

Cheerfulness and happy thoughts

I am burdened and trying to carry less

Peeling off the extra pounds I have gained

To give life to the new life that once lived in me

That life is now gone with the wind

But still I carry the weight

And it is weighing me down

In ways I never imagined possible

So forgive me

If I am back to finding me

Because I am really in need of me right now

I need to find me

Only then can I give me once again

Finding me……

(C) Nina Fabunmi 2018

She came to me like a thief in the night

She captured my heart

My body was hers

Mind , spirit and soul

I prayed for her, I prayed with her

I sang to her , I spoke words to her

She controlled me

My walk, my talk, my indisposition

I loved her with every ounce of my being

I nurtured her

Made room for her

She took over me

All that I did and did not do was now for her well being

Her heart was beating inside of me

Until one day, it was beating no more

Unable to sustain her life inside me

I almost gave mine up to keep her

But she was gone

Just as quietly as she once snuck up upon me

Without a word or a whisper

She faded away into oblivion

But I still felt her in my within

And then I felt her no more

I am filled with the void that she left inside me

Thankful for the life I have despite her demise

Asking questions that have no answers

Reminded that the load was not mine alone to bear

And yet I bore it alone

Till it all came crashing down on me

Drowning in the pools of my own blood

Saved by the very same angels who took her to a better place

And though she is no more

She hath captured me

She is in my head, my heart, my soul

My body bears the scars she left within me

I see her, I hear her, I feel her

I am captured by her

(c) Nina Fabunmi 2018

The coconut was not ripe when it fell from the tree

Yet it managed to make an impact on the ground upon which it fell

It left an impression, a gentle hollow in the soil

It crushed the weed beneath it

And it’s water seeped out of its crack

Only to nourish the tree from which it fell

Giving back life to that which once gave it life .

(c) Nina Fabunmi 2018

https://instagram.com/p/Bbevnw6l2Qi/

I remember sitting in the waiting room of his office. She sent him some home cooking and I remembered that I was the one who once cooked for him. I carried his child , she felt like she was mine , she could have been… but my angel is in heaven watching over me.

I woke up in my lonely bed and rolled from side to side , celebrating my freedom… he was finally gone and now I could breathe again. I didn’t have to listen to the sound of him snoring or smell his stinky farts at night.

I looked at my finger and remembered the one who put a ring on it. He had put several rings on it and we were dancing the tango once more. In my dreams I call out to him. I can almost smell him like he was right next to me.

In love I have lost and won and lost and won again. I have peeled off many layers , pouring my soul into my canvas as I constantly evolve. Where will it take me …. when will I find my home … I am like a butterfly…. transitional….. evolving ….

Copyright Nina Fabunmi 2017 http://www.ninafabunmi.com

Transience captures beautiful moments that are gone in a whiff and yet the picture lingers on in my mind.

I have a body of work with paintings that capture transient moments. I will be exhibiting these at my solo show , opening on November 2nd at the Atelier Gallery, Academy Of Art University, 79 New Montgomery Street, San Francisco, CA, 94105.

Opening is on Thursday November 2nd from 5.30pm till 7.30pm

The exhibition will be up from Tuesday October 31st till December 2nd. The gallery is open from Monday -Saturday 9am – 6pm. You are all cordially invited .

For a preview of the featured paintings please click on the link below . Thank You.

https://www.facebook.com/NinaFabunmiFineArt/videos/1387247138068060/