I made this painting in April 2011 when I was going through a very dark phase in my life. Coming to the realization that things weren’t the way I dreamt they would be , and the disappointment from someone I once thought I could love had finally cleared my eyes to see the reality of my situation. I needed to heal and I took to my canvas for this necessary step , for me to forge forth and make decisions that would eventually set me on the right track, the one that God had always intended for me.
I painted myself in red , it represents the anger that burnt within me. I was fuming. If only you could see my insides. Anger from all that I had invested in that relationship, all gone to waste. Anger from the watching the walls we tried to build all come crumbling down. I guess they were always shaking and they couldn’t take it anymore. I slowly receded into sadness, represented by the deep ultramarine blue. How would I face the world the next day, wear a smile and pretend that all is well like I had gotten used to doing even though I was crumbling inside. I felt a shame that wasn’t upon me to feel, I blamed myself even though I know I shouldn’t have. I took steps to recover , green is the color of new life, new hope. I got the strength I always needed to pursue my destiny and here I am today.
This painting is made of 3 separate canvases, all stitched together to form one piece. It is acrylic on canvas and hangs in on a prestigious wall of my largest art collections in Nigeria.
Today I remembered my father, he always told me that he liked how bold I was with colors and my strokes showed confidence. That statement has impacted my work a great deal. I pulled out this piece because I thought about what he said and I wanted to verify that . It also took me back to my time of reckoning. How I had to make the toughest decisions I have ever had to. My dad gave me his blessings , all the way. I felt his hands on me, nudging be to keep going. I still feel his presence, smiling down on me from heaven. I don’t think I will ever recover from his loss but I am constantly comforted by his aura.
2 thoughts on “Anger , Sadness & Recovery”
Reblogged this on Mark Geoffrey Kirshner and commented:
Excellent showing of the progression of mourning and recovery, well illustrated
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